Vessel of God

So here I am, 37 weeks pregnant looking back at my pregnancy journey. So much have happened, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and of course physically.  

When I first found out that I was pregnant I had mixed emotions, and a million thoughts ran through my mind. I doubted my self and was frighten of motherhood. But deep inside I knew I wanted to keep the baby. I have done abortion before and I also had a miscarriage, so deep inside I knew that this was a blessing. But of course I asked myself if this was the right time. But then again who am I to say when's the right time. 

Once we decided that we were going to keep the baby I knew change was needed, and I am so proud of how we have grown during this experience.  

Knowing that my body now was a home for a growing individual I also had to think about what I was feeding my body. Knowing that the little person inside would be effected by my conditions made me more aware of my thoughts, feelings and habits. I was became even more aware of my lifestyle.  

In the beginning I was somewhat low in energy but still didn't experience any negative symptoms of pregnancy such as morning sickness or headaches. Due to my diet I didn't really get the nutrition that I needed and I was craving candy and fat foods. It came to a point where I could eat burgers and pizza several days in a row.  

Finally I started rethinking and questioning the foods I was craving, and started to eat "healthier" until I turned completely vegan. Once I turned vegan my energy was on top and my skin was clearing up from all the eczema that I have suffered from since a child. I have never felt better.  

I am still processing the fact that I have a baby growing inside. Feeling her move inside of me, it's like time stops and I am completely mesmerized.  

It's hard to explain what being pregnant does to you, but I feel like a whole new person. I feel holy, like a vessel of god, bringing an amazing piece of art into the world.